My sense of humour is somewhat impaired at present and I am in a sour mood. Scarlet Blue has closed her blog and the reason why is vile. She wrote a post about it and then retracted it. She is far too nice.
But I am not.
I closed my blog because of Dave East. Since 2009, I strongly believe that he has been masquerading as a female blogger called 'Jane P'. We, meaning me, Rog, Zoe, Macy, and Roses worked this out Sunday night/Monday morning... after hell of a lot of detective work. As Jane P, Dave pretended to be a young woman who had had several cancer scares. Kaz and I were two of Jane's commenters.
Dave was also a commenter, and I was led to believe that he offered Jane help and support through her difficult times. I thought highly of Dave because he had been so caring and supportive of Jane.
Recently, Macy asked me whether she should go on a blog meet with Dave and without hesitation I reassured her that Dave was a kind and caring individual... I also told her how wonderful he had been with Jane.... but now it turns out that Dave was Jane all along...
The Jane blog has now been deleted, but I feel rather soiled by the whole thing. And livid, as I totally believed that I was commenting on a blog of a young lonely woman who was afraid of being diagnosed with cancer. Jane also used to write about how lovely Scarlet was... and about how wonderful Dave was... and that Dave and Scarlet should really get married and live happily ever after - no Dave, that was never ever going to happen.
In Dave's defence, he does suffer from debilitating illness and he is lonely, but this does not give him the right to con other bloggers. I was quite fond of Dave, he was one of my most regular visitors. He does have the capacity to be very witty and entertaining. I don't believe he set out to deliberately hurt anyone and he is very afraid of his deteriorating health. Perhaps he couldn't say this as Dave. One of Jane's most poignant lines was simply: I'm scared and alone.
And now, because of all this he probably feels even more scared and alone. Something that does not sit well with me.
If Kaz was here today I'm sure she would be pissing herself laughing, she might even suggest that Dave should stay in touch with his feminine side and that he should make a huge comeback as Jaunty Jane the nubile nun from Norfolk... then at least we wouldn't have to read all the dreary cricket posts.
I am still feeling rather shaken by this incident and will be taking an extended blogging break; I think I should move on now and chalk it up to experience.
But then again the Reverend East isn't the only one with an alter ego, is he?
I'm so sorry you have had this experience - it could happen to any of us and makes one remember all the warnings one has had from one's family.
ReplyDeleteJust remember that it is not your fault if someone behaves badly and don't let it warp all the good things you have experienced in blogging.
Warmest wishes from a genuine octogenarian great- grandmother.
Thank you, Pat and it is lovely to see you here. I have mentioned this experience to a non-blogger, he simply shook his head in a 'told you so' way. But I do know that I have made some true friendships via my blog and I'm not going to forget about these just because of one very silly man.
ReplyDeleteIn fairness, I should add that this is our opinion and we've done a lot of research and built up all the evidence that we can. Dave denies it, and is genuinely upset by the accusation - but upset only on his own behalf, he's not asked a single question about why we believe that he is Jane, or expressed any concern for the feelings of anyone else, which has reinforced our belief. Right up until a few days ago, he could have come clean, said it was a joke that he'd taken too far recently, and his apology would have been accepted.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Z, well said.
ReplyDeleteHello:
ReplyDeleteWe are so very sorry to read that you have had this very distressing experience and quite understand your feelings.
However, thank you so much for your email and we are so pleased that we have not, after all, lost touch with you. Enjoy a restful break.
Many thanks, Jane and Lance.
ReplyDeletei know the feeling, sugar! *sigh* i'm glad you're back with us! xoxoxoxo
ReplyDelete*Hugs* It's a dangerous world out there on this 'ere internet.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, dear Elsie Valentine! Thank you for the message on where to locate you and I hope you can now relax and put that experience behind you. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteSo do I, Ponita, and thanks for popping by.
ReplyDeleteThank you for including me.
ReplyDeleteBack to tick e-mail box. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad Scarlett has such supportive and pro-active supporters/alter egos ;)
ReplyDeleteVery much looking forward to what Elsie Valentine has planned in the world of blogging. All the best Froggy/Abbey. xxx
I shall loan Von LX out to you with his expert pillow-fluffing skills whilst I put the kettle on.
ReplyDeleteOr would you like something stronger?
I'm so relieved to read this: when I got your message this morning I had to dash out to work, and for the whole drive (about 40 minutes) I was imagining all sorts of horrors: he'd been stalking you; he'd physically attacked you; he'd tried to murder your husband/boyfriend/partner... So his masquerading as a poor, lonely, cancer ridden young woman feels, to me, more sad for him in comparison.
ReplyDeleteI like your balanced approach, that you try to see his perspective, and understand how hurt you must feel having been duped with apparent intention. And I'm pretty sure he feels much worse than you, if that's any consolation, as he's lost a wonderful, compassionate, witty friend by dint of his own failure to process all the information.
Hugs, XXXXXXX
I can only echo Eryl's comments, Dave sounds like a sad case but I do understand how you feel to have been taken in by his double life.
ReplyDeleteFunny old place Blogworld?
xxx
Thank you ladies, and Mr Von LX, for joining me here.
ReplyDeleteI will put another post up later today or tomorrow so as not to linger on this unpleasantness.
Indeed, Blogworld is a funny old place, and experiences such as these can get inside your head and affect you just as much as anything in the real world.
My Mentor said to me, when I was having a fit of the Cynicals, the secret to Life and maintaining an open heart is the willingness to take the risk to be disappointed.
ReplyDeleteYes, it all went tits up in a rather spectacular fashion. However, the disappoint of that, shouldn't outweigh the feeling of community, the knowledge that the bloggers around you, care and their values and your values are now very explicit.
Blogging is not just a frivolous past-time for us. We give a crap and want it to be an authentic and real experience.
Oh shit, I think I've read one too many self-help books.
To alter ego or not to alter ego, that's not really a question. But to have a conversation with your own alter ego to make yourself look good, that's just wrong.
ReplyDeleteDid Macy ever meet up with Dave? Did anything bad happen to her? I hope not!
Roses: Yes, it did all go rather tits up... completely arse over tit!!
ReplyDeleteI will always remember that I have made some very good friends from my blogging experience and one idiot must not ruin this. He won't.
Deborah: Yes, poor Macy did meet up with Dave... and was bored rigid for two to four hours, it's not an experience that she's going to forget either!
Four hours Scarlet! Not two hours that felt like four hours!FOUR HOURS
ReplyDelete